Tag Archives: life

Looking for Myself

As a “human becoming” I often ask myself who I am right now.  The answer differs from day-to-day, even hour to hour.

A lot of people use the term “wearing a different hat” when they talk about the different roles they play.  We all have different hats; some just have more of them.  I remember reading “The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins” to my classes when I was a teacher.  The hats got more and more ornate as he tried to remove them.  Something like that happens to us.  We take on a role, say the role of teacher.  We then find we aren’t just teaching but we’re also supervising a student teacher, so we have another hat on top of the teacher hat.  But we might have to address a group of educators or parents about something we’re doing with our class, so we wear the hat of public speaker, and so on.

Through writing this blog, which bears my heart to all and sundry, I want to share all aspects of my self with anyone interested.  In this way I remove the hats one at a time until the real me is revealed.  Perhaps I’ll be able to see myself under all these hats.  I’m a human becoming.  I hope to discover just who I am becoming some day.

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Scare on a Ferry

We had a big scare yesterday.  On the ferry going to Swartz Bay, my husband passed out.  I thought of dialing 9-1-1 but knew that was pointless right away, so then I got out of the car and went looking for someone to tell a ferry worker to announce that we needed a doctor.  The sensible-looking man I selected just happened to be a doctor!  He examined my husband, who had come around again, took his pulse, and said I should take him to an emergency clinic.  My husband and I switched places and when the ferry arrived, we drove to the Saanich Peninsula Hospital where the response was quick.  In no time at all he was on a bed with sticky bits and wires all over him, attached to a monitor that measured his heart beats, oxygen level, and pulse, and took his blood pressure every so often.  He was seen by a delightful nurse and a serious doctor, given blood tests, and released four hours later.  We learned never to skip breakfast, especially after too few hours of sleep.  This is something we’re going to have to deal with every time we take the 7:00 am ferry.  We will.

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Your Voice Haunts Me: Remembering Doreen Kimura Part 4

You laughed often and enthusiastically.  You loved silliness and got giggly quite easily.  Sometimes when you and our mother got together, a laugh-fest would erupt, and Mum would laugh so hard she’d shed tears.

You listened to opera, folk music, and rock-and-roll, and knew the words and music to every song, and could even sing in German and Ukrainian.   We sang Christmas Carols every December, in English and German.  You sang the hymns in Gammy’s old hymnal.   You could sing anything until that neck operation robbed you of your beautiful singing voice.

You had to speak a lot in your work as a professor.  You had very clear enunciation, which I’m sure your students were grateful for.  I confess I used to love watching you talk because of the way you moved your mouth.  You spoke with as much care as you did everything else.  And I could always tell if you were relaxed, worried, annoyed or bored by the way you used your voice.

I hope your voice will go on haunting me.  I miss it and I miss you.


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Life Doesn’t Make Sense: Remembering Doreen Kimura Part 3

She had so much to live for.

Doreen had reached the summit in her field of research.  But she was still asking questions she wanted answers to.  She would have followed another line of research had she lived.  I can’t remember what it was.  She told me, but because I’m not a scientist, I forget what it was.  Maybe it had to do with her interest in evolution.

Speaking of evolution, what sense can I make of our human evolution?  In order to accommodate our big heads, our mothers deliver us at an acutely dependent stage of development; our big brains have survival value. We learn and learn, explore and create, grow intellectually, until we die.  Death does not seem like a sensible end to creatures with all that brain development.

Doreen enjoyed life.  She had one of the liveliest intellects of anyone I ever knew. Her body, however, fell apart and no longer supported her.

I have no answer.  I’m not sure I even have a question.  But she should have lived longer, much, much longer.  I can’t make sense of any of this.  Can you?


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Things I Like and Don’t Like

I got this idea from vinnylanni

Since I’m “baring my heart,” I might as well tell you a few things about my preferences.

I like the beauties of the natural world.  I find inspiration in the  sky, rocks, ocean, animals and plants.  That’s one of my reasons for choosing Mayne Island as my new home.

I like people.  I find them fascinating and wonderful.  I never get tired of people.

I like the language of children.  I find them so surprising.  They have new ways of looking at the world and of expressing their observations.

I like crocheting.  I design hats, just hats, and each one is different.  I always enjoy creating a new one.

I like to write.  I’ve written 3 books and many stories, poems, articles, and so on, and am always happy when immersed in writing.


I don’t like violence and cruelty.  It makes me sad.

I don’t like the experience of  speed.

I don’t like competition.


For now, that’s all I want to share.  But these are important things, to me.  I also have preferences in books, music, colours, food, and so forth.  Perhaps I’ll share them later.


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Life is a lot of things.  It’s tough.  It’s wonderful. It’s an adventure.  It’s a journey.

One thing it is for me is:

            different  from anything I could have imagined when I was young.
I’m writing this blog for myself, to explore my own heart’s thoughts and feelings, memories and aspirations, and I’m writing it for everyone else who’s interested.  Perhaps friends and relatives will talk a look at it from time to time, to find out what new insights I’ve had or puzzling experiences I’m trying to sort out.

I’m a writer.  That’s what I love to do and would do almost incessantly  if I could.

I’m a friend, a sister, a wife, a mother, and grandmother, a counsellor, a teacher, and so much more.

I love to walk, but, it’s become a challenge.  Arthritis has slowed me down and yesterday I tripped and fell, bending a toe that is no longer bendable, or so I thought.  Today that toe is purple and twice the size it used to be.

Want to see a picture of my toe?  Ha-ha.  I don’t know if I’ll be posting pictures or not.  We’ll have to wait and see.

Please feel free to make comments, ask questions, or whatever.

More later.


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